And it’s bigger than everything I have ever done before.
I have not had time to cook lately. Or to even go grocery-shopping. Or eat. Or sleep. Or really do much else besides be at work.
So, this means no fun food or comic book updates, but I do have the following gem to share.
Friendly Neighborhood Barista: G’morning. How are you doing today?
Customer: I need a flat latte. With an extra shot. I learned that here. The flat part.
FNB: Ok. Would you li-
C: And I’d like it with less milk.
FNB: *looking puzzled* Well, if we make it flat, that means there will be no foam and more milk.
C: Yes, but I’d like it dark. Make it dark.
FNB: *again, looking puzzled*
C: Just make it with more water.
FNB: Well, there’s actually no water in your latte. It’s made with shots of espressso, steamed milk, and usually, a little bit of fo-
C: Ok then, just make it with mostly espresso.
FNB: You’ve included 2 shots so far, would you like to add -
C: No. No more. Just make it stronger.
FNB: Well, I –
C: Just give me an americano. What is an americano?
FNB: That would be shots of espresso in hot water.
C: Then do that. And make it strong. With no foam.
FNB: There will be no steamed milk, and therefore no foam in your americano. Would you like us to add steamed milk?
C: *pretty aggravated* Sure. Just make it strong.
This exchange was almost as fun as the time I had a small discussion with a male customer who insisted that espresso drinks were a newfangled invention. I mentioned that they’ve been around in Europe since the early 20th century, nearly as long as drip coffee which has only been popular in the United States since the War of 1812. He claimed he just wanted an “American cup of coffee.” I mentioned that the origins of coffee-drinking are traced back to Ethiopia and the Middle East – I didn’t mention the fact that a pope once tried to ban it because it was thought to be a “Muslim drink.”
People are funny.
